Sunday, January 1, 2012
Wondering about my sanity
What kind of nincompoop starts a weight loss plan on New Year's Eve? The numb nuts currently typing this post, that's who. I have no idea what I was thinking deciding to start being mindful of what I am popping in my mouth before the butter, cream, and fat laden holidays were quite over. No one else could possibly be stupid enough to decide to lose weight while baking another batch of Tuscan Cheese Straws, the ones so full of butter and cheesy goodness that even my very generous father won't share one crumb of the batch he finds in his stocking every year. (No, this is not the first recipe I'm going to share, because "Lead us not into temptation" and all that jazz. Suffice it to say they are phenomenal if you are a savory lover--me, I'm both sweet and savory because if you're going to have a love affair with food, it should certainly be 100%, right? None of this pansy-assed one or the other crapola.)
But knowing that I have little to no willpower to avoid eating anything that looks delectable (and what doesn't?), I also made a marginally healthy version of Texas Caviar with Avocado. Aside from the dressing (I subbed in champagne vinaigrette for the Italian dressing since it was New Year's Eve and that made it sound all festive and rich ::snort::), it was all healthy-ish ingredients. Even avocados are crammed with good fats, right?! The fact that you scoop this stuff up with Fritos, possibly the worst for you chip on the planet--and not coincidentally one of the best tasting--is completely immaterial. But since I am trying to be behave around food, I also decided to take the advice of a magazine I had been reading earlier in the day. I just have to say that the people at either Real Simple or Rachael Ray (don't remember which magazine is actually to blame) are completely on crack if they think for one minute that subbing endive, which might indeed have a crunch, for Fritos as the dip purveyor is in the slightest sense satisfying or comparable. Endive might look classier but let me tell you, endive bites. And I only took the Fritos to the party. Well, Fritos and the cheese straws, so I could spread the butter content onto other people's butts too.
Of course, going to two parties meant that other people had made tempting tasties as well. In fact, at one of the parties, it was doubling as a birthday party so there was cake. Lots of cake. Three cakes. Now it is going to seem a bit odd given my general food Hoovering tendencies but I don't actually like cake a whole lot. So I restrained myself and has a bite (literally one each) of two of the cakes. But I helped myself to rather more cheese straws than I should have (dad doesn't share with me either and I'm the baker) and several scoops of endive-less Texas Caviar.
My only defense against the delicious looking foods at both parties was to keep my back to them at all times. It worked as well as could be hoped for and certainly better than the "eat before you go so you won't be hungry" advice I always hear. Seriously, if I only ate when I was hungry, I wouldn't have a food problem. I eat because it is there and it tastes good. And this is what I am trying to work my way through and beyond. Coping strategies for people who eat because it crosses their sight line, not strategies for people who just need to be reminded that food is simply fuel for the body. And last night, aside from the stupid inadvisability of choosing to start this surrounded by fantastic and fattening food, I think I actually handled it pretty well.
So, should I be offended that my e-mail this morning contained one from Weight Watchers telling me that they were open today and urging me to find a meeting?